The Great Northern Zombie Apocalypse

I fell in love in 2005. I heard ‘Funeral’ by Arcade Fire for the first time, and something in the music clicked inside me. I have never felt quite like this about any band. In fact, it was that intense, that I have to take breaks from listening to it. I’d find myself walking to the shop or wherever, and having to close my eyes and take deep breaths because it was that intense. I’m not quite sure why they hit me like that, but they do.

A few weeks ago, I got hold of ‘Neon Bible’ on a torrent. It’s a bit more of a slow burner. Couple of standout tracks (”Keep the Car Running”, “No Cars Go”, “Ocean of Noise” and “Intervention”) and some solid songs. But this is Arcade Fire we’re talking about – even when not burning a hole in my ear drums, they are sublime.

But, on Thursday evening, the rest of the album suddenly made perfect sense.

I tried to get tickets for this back in February when they went on sale. Work had blocked all the ticket websites, due to us hammering it when around six of us went on an all out offensive to get tickets for The Killers’ recent tour. We didn’t get through on the phones for AF, so that was it – tickets sold out in a matter of minutes, I was screwed. I settled down into accepting that I wouldn’t see them.

But then, last week, I was offered two tickets. I gladly accepted them, organised a lift/gig partner in Lee, my Brother-In-Law (who had never heard of the Arcade Fire!). Then I emailed my address to the chap who offered the tickets.

He didn’t get the email.

Come Monday, I got an email – “I haven’t had your address, so I guess you’ve decided not to go – I’ve decided to go now though. You can have the other ticket if you want”.

But, I couldn’t get there and back on my own. I don’t drive.

Nicola actually came up to me, hugged me, and said “I’m sorry”, as if someone had died!
I broke the news to Lee.

That was it – last train would get into burnley at 5:45 in the morning – no way I could do that. So that was that.

Until Wednesday, when my wonderful, wonderful Wife decided that I simply MUST go to this, as it meant so much, so she spent all day forcing me to sort it all out. Finally, harking back 11 years to when I was sixteen, I got my Dad to come pick me up.

I was on my way..

I landed in Manchester at 7:00, and met up with Nathan, who turned out to be a nice chap!  And not Irish, disturbingly.

Landed at the Apollo (which was nice, because I realised on the bus over that I had no idea where it was), and the support came on, a chap by the name of Patrick Wolf.  I quite enjoyed it – a bizarre performance, a rake thin, androgynous guy, holding a violin.  Bizarre sound – echoes of Arcade Fire in there, along with electronica/folk influences.  He was OK.  But I was too excited to enjoy it properly.

I bid good evening to Nathan at that point.  I hurtled down to the front, and then they arrived.

There were sound problems from the off.  The church organ I spied got my juices flowing, but  the sound was muddy and flat for the opener, ‘Intervention’.  The sound should have filled the hall.

A load of songs from the increasingly brilliant ‘Neon Bible’ followed, which, annoyingly, seemed to upset rather a lot of people, as the album had been out for only 4 days, and it hadn’t been absorbed properly, I guess.  I loved them though.  ‘Antichrist’, ‘Black Mirror’ and, my personal favourite, ‘No Cars Go’ came up.  ‘No Cars Go’ was utterly incredible.

Arcade Fire are an amazingly tight band.  They really don’t let up.  There were serious sound problems – too much bass, not enough treble.  Win was getting very, very frustrated at the fact that they were 25 feet from the audience, so there was no real personal connection – so much so, he grabbed some people from the audience early on and sat them directly in front of the band on the stage while they played.

Later on, after being dogged by sound problems and a lack of connection with the crowd, They kicked out ‘Rebellion (Lies)’, which was incredible.  Halfway through, Win leathered it off the stage and started grabbing people from my portion of the crowd – I just missed it, but those lucky few climbed on stage and got to dance around with the band, and yell out those sublime lyrics.

They then buggered off for a few moments, leaving the people on the stage, before coming back on for the encore.  ‘Neighborhood #1 (tunnels) came, then the gorgeous ‘Ocean Of Noise’ before leaving the stage for good.

The house lights came up, and I found myself still screaming for ‘Wake Up’.

All in all, this was a stunning gig, and I had a wonderful introduction to the Arcade Fire Live Experience.

They are truly my favourite band – they mean immesurable things to me.  Sadly, though, I get the impression that next time, they’ll be playing the Arenas.  Which just won’t work, and I don’t think the band will survive.

I also get the feeling that Arcade Fire, as we know it, will not last past a couple of years.

I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

For those that like this sort of thing, this is the setlist.

Intervention
(Anti-Christ Television Blues)
Keep The Car Running
Black Mirror
No Cars Go
Haiti
Black Wave/Bad Vibrations
My Body Is A Cage
The Well And The Lighthouse
Crown Of Love
Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
Rebellion (Lies)
Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
Ocean Of Noise

Also, apologies for the photos.  Camera phone + jumping around in a thousand people = not very good quality.

Now.. I’m no fan of the cult of celebrity. But this.. this has got me intrigued.

Apparently, Britney Spears has gone quite insane. She’s cut off all her hair, and is getting tattoos. Now, I like this idea – perhaps she’s decided that the fake plastic look is a bad thing, perhaps she has performed a total reversal.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1252045,00.html

It’s just very, very odd. The world seems to have rejected this Barbie Doll fantasy – I applaud that. But this girl has been acting very, very strangely. Constant pressure to be a dream girl appear to have taken it’s toll.

EDIT – I think the third picture is a fake.  Doesn’t look quite right to me.

Monday eventide heralded the arrival of ‘Fat men can’t hunt’ on BBC 3.

An experiment where eight clinically obese people got sent to the Kalahari desert to live with an ancient tribe, hunting and foraging for their meals.

It was certainly interesting. An aquaintance of mine, Martin Coxall, appeared in the programme, utterly dominating the screen both physically and verbally. It seems he appeared in every scene, managing to piss people off on the first day.

Go Martin.

Well worth a watch – Mondays, 10:30 on BBC3.

In other news, I’m having a bash at the old weight loss again. Yesterday, I began the ‘Crunchy Nut’ diet.  I’m going to give it the two weeks it requires of having Crunchy Nut Cornflakes for Breakfast and Lunch, see what happens.

Also.  I’m going bald, rapidly.  I plan to perhaps counter this with a Mohican this evening, but I was wondering if any readers know of any hair loss treatments.  Do they work?

Chips the Monkey – Eddie Murphy
Ballbag the monkey – Eddie Izzard
Frankie the obsene Orangatang – Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards
Gertrude the Lion – Eddie Vedder
Bert the dyslexic camel – Eddie Van Halen
Humans – Bastards
Remember that Monkeys steal bits of your car at Safari Parks?

Well, they have a secret agenda!

 SEE the new HILARIOUS comedy CGIfest in cinemas THIS FALL

 CHIPS – Hey, I KNOW that Muthafukka has a brand new radiator in his car.  Oooooh, Muthafukka we going DOWN
BALLBAG – Yeeees.  However, I’m can’t see that the MOTHS will agree.  They’ll just spin out of control and go BLE on the ground, comentappelle’ tu.
GERTRUDE – Ballbag spoke in class today
ALL – SHUT UP YOU DEPRESSING BASTARD
BERT WIDDLES HIS AXE
FRANKIE – where is my career?

They’re stealing bits to make a car!  And stealing our hearts….

It’s a story of LOVE

 GERTRUDE – Ballbag.. I think I caught a bolt of lightening, and I cursed the day I let it go.

BALLBAG – GET OFF

A story of COURAGE

 THE HASTILY BUILT A-TEAM CAR IS JUST ABOUT TO PLUNGE OFF A BRIDGE

 Chips – HOLD ON MUTHAFUKKAS, HOLD ON.  I WON’T LEAVE YOU

 CHIPS RUNS OUT OF THE CAR, VAULTS OVER THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE, AND BUILDS A GIANT SPONGE WHILE WASPS STING HIM AND RED HOT CHILLIS ARE RUBBED IN HIS EYES.

A story of OVERCOMING THE ODDS

Frankie – We’re FREE!
Chips – Well, muthafukka.  What do we do now?  How can two Monkeys, an ourangatang, a Lion and a dyslexic camel survive in the human world?
Gertrude – I agree.  Clearly, I remember, picking on the bo…
ALL – SHUT UP

With sensitive music and singalong classics by SEPULTURA, this film will engage you, and ultimately, you will feel the monkey heart beating within.A TRUE STORY.

The title of this post were the words that greeted me on Friday Night upon walking through the door of Graffiti.  My first visit to a Rock Club in almost eight years.

 And, oh my, I had a blast.

 The evening had started off as a Christmas Party for Nikki’s binmen.  She works for a Refuse Collection place in Burnley, and this was the workforce party.  Working Men’s pub, drink tokens, pie and peas, and karaoke.  After breaking out ‘Mustang Sally’ and ‘Fairytale in New York’, we decided it was a washout.  Most were there for the free beer.  Once it had gone, they were off.  We met up with one of the new drivers, an ex-army type called Pete, and his wife, Santina.  A very nice couple, they dragged us to a pub across the road, where I became a temporary bouncer for the evening, stopping fights.

We then retired to Graffiti.  We pole danced, and I moshed to some rocking tuneage.  I’d forgotten just how much I love getting on down to some mental music.  I left my mobile on a table, and, as testement to the fact that the ‘alternative’ crowd look after one another, I managed to get it back, as it had been handed in to the bar.  Try that in other clubs?  You’d never get it back.

Anyway, I digress.  There was a chap there, as I was boogying on down to ‘Electric Head pt. 2′ by White Zombie, who was astounded as he and I were probably the oldest people in the bar.  He demanded a photo. 

Oh Dear.

I’ve now decided I quite fancy the idea of running something like this.  I know the scene, I think I could make a go of it.  I’m thinking begin by running a franchise pub, then doing some theme nights, then open my own place.

Why not?  I’m young, I’ve got the energy to do it, I have basic business sense, Nikki has HNDs in public Admin and various other business related activities.

So, that’s my next big thing.  You just watch this space in a couple of years.  Mr Nightclub Entrepeneur.  Or however it’s spelt.

Apologies for the mindless, self indulgent posts.  But that is what a blog is all about.

I’ve forgotten about my site.

 Not that anyone reads it, anyway.  However, because I complained to ASDA via the medium of the written letter, and email, I received two seperate letters,  both with a £5 gift card.

They were very apologetic, and they blamed the issue on a small hole that must have pierced the box – interesting, as they said that to my friend as well.  I can only imagine that they were packaged in the same place as they have the skewers tested.

Complaining for fun and profit.  It works!

I’m not usually one to complain – it’s the British way, don’tcha know, Stiff upper lip and all that, but I was really looking forward to this tasty looking Fruit Salad.  But it was starting for Ferment in it’s packaging.  Probably been stored wrongly, as my colleague had one from the same batch, and that was the same.

Hi. 

I recently bought a ‘Sunshine Fruit Salad’ from your Burnley store, for £2.88.  I was looking forward to eating it very much, it was all I had for lunch!  Upon opening, I was hit by a fermented smell, and, upon a taste of the kiwi and the apple, they were not as fresh as the packaging would make out!  The ‘Use By’ date was the 12th of October, so I would have expected a sumptious feast.  Sadly, my expectations were far too high, and the fruit was past it’s best by a long shot.  It was stale, and, as previously mentioned, it had started to ferment.

I feel I must put my disappointment in Asda in writing, as I expect generally high quality from your foods, and this time, I was sorely let down.

My colleage, who is pregnant, also purchased the same product yesterday, and she had an even worse experience, as hers was ‘use by 10/10/06′ – the day on which she bought it!  I’m sure she will be writing too.

Please let me know your comments.

My address, should you wish to reply via post, is

Matt Tustin
XXXXX Avenue
Burnley
Lancashire
BB10 XXX

Regards,

Matt Tustin.

Well, I got turned down by the special coppers.

Apparently, because of my absences through illness for the past four years.  I guess I’ll have to wait a couple of years, keep absences down, and reapply.

Damn shame.

Well, first update in forever.  I did get halfway through posting about my Greek adventures, but never finished it.  I’ll finish it shortly.

Also, I’m working on two projects.  The first, is a Zombie Alphabet Book.  I’m going to post it here, maybe set up a subsite, and keep it updated, A through Z.  Then, look at getting it published, mainly as a laugh, but also to try and step on the rung of taking my amateur doodles to a professional level.

Secondly, I’m working on a Childrens book, both writing and illustrating it.  I’ve got the basic outline, and I’m halfway to completing a two page panel.  It’s quite a scary little story, with a very happy ending, aimed toward the 4 – 10 age group (hell of a range there!!), but it will have elements parents will appreciate.  Also, I’m hoping to take the illustrations to another level, making them beautiful enough so that it would look good on coffee tables.  It’s a lovely little story, based on childrens fears of breakdown in parental harmony, and general irrational fears that seem rational to a kid, and escaping those, and eventually learning to accept things that potentially cannot change.  To see the good in all situations.

I’m quite excited about both these things, as it’s really the first time I’ve grabbed something, and can seriously look to taking it to it’s eventual conclusion.  I’ve started many stories in the past, but a lack of taking them seriously, and not spending time with them, has hurt them, and caused me to have folders full of half arsed concepts.

I’ll perhaps post some preliminary sketches in a day or so, see what everyone thinks (if indeed anyone reads this any more?)

I have a new hat.

I’m off to Rhodes tomorrow, and when I get back, I’m going to start this blogging lark properly. I’ve just applied to become a Special Copper, so I’ll actually have things to write about, if I get approved.

Keep it Disco.

July 4, 2007.

The new Transformers movie.

Hoo-Ha.

Here’s a picture of Bumblebee THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE! If they ask, you didn’t see it here, OK?

And here he is in Car Form. Not a VW bug, but still pretty cool, and bright yellow.

To say I’m excited is a drastic understatement.. Yes, I KNOW I’m 26, and should know better, but hell… enormous transforming Robots doing battle?

I’m THERE.

EDIT – Oh, Bums.  Looks like the studio have got pissy about the Robot picture being up.  Ah well.

See www.transformersmovie.com for the first trailer.